Back to Work.....

I guess it was inevitable. A result of Myla June’s amazingly quick recovery was that I had to end my tenure as a stay at home dad and return back to work. My feelings on this issue were mixed, and by mixed I mean 90% sad and 10% excited. As much as I might complain about the frustrations of my job, I do enjoy certain things about it. I enjoy the steady paycheck (which was/is sorely missed over the past three weeks). I miss the challenge of working in a school. I enjoy the collegial/team atmosphere as well. I guess those three things are enough to add up to the 10% of excitement. I was sad to leave the comfort of my home. I was sad to not be able to spend time with my beautiful daughter and catch all of those little amazing things that she does throughout the day. I was sad that I would no longer have the ability give my wife some well-deserved time off, even if it means 30 minutes more sleep, 30 minutes to take a shower, or 30 more minutes to just relax.

My first day back was not nearly as stressful as I feared it would be. This is thanks to my colleagues, who though would not admit it, went out of their way to ensure that I did not have a pile of work on my desk upon my return. They took the brunt of kids in crisis, angry parents, and stacks of paperwork that we deal with on a daily basis. I also came back to an environment of care and concern. I was greeted with “welcome backs” and “I am so happy to hear things went so well.” This was nice.

Myla is almost three weeks post-op, and she continues to thrive. Her scab has completely fallen off of her incision leaving a 2 inch long pink scar. We have a doctor’s appointment (actually 2) on Thursday, and we hope to be able to start caring for her scar with mederma and start some of the scar stretching techniques that we were given at the hospital. We also have our first Gastro appointment. We hope that Myla has gained weight since her hospital stay. Lindsey brought Myla to see Nancy, our feeding therapist, on Monday. She was so impressed with Myla’s progress. She is eating more baby food. She is expressing excitement in eating and has now developed a love for pickles and pretzels. She took a little from a bottle with the feeding therapist and the therapist wants to speak with our GI doctor about beginning to wean Myla from the feeding tube. My expectation is that this will be another very difficult process. Though Myla has a newfound excitement for food, she still does not associate eating with satiation of hunger. She needs to feel hunger. My sense is that she needs to feel hunger multiple times per day and then eat enough to make that feeling go away. This could take a while. It also could mean less sleep back to the days of stressing about her eating and fearing the weigh in at the doctors office. The upside, however, clearly outweighs the downside. I can’t wait to see her beautiful face without “tubey” stuck to her chunky little cheek. I get overwhelmed when I think of the idea of Myla being an independent eater. It’s something so basic and so fundamental, but for Myla, it is also something that is terrifying. Eating used to hurt her so much. It will take time, but I know my little girl will be eating. Our goal is to have her eating birthday cake by May 19, 2012. One journey ends and another begins.