The Allusiveness of Normalcy

                                          "I climb things now" - (Roth, M.J., 2012)
                                                        

"I maintained that psychiatry, in the broadest sense, is a dialogue between the sick psyche and the psyche of the doctor, which is presumed to be 'normal.' It is a coming to terms between the sick personality and that of the therapist, both in principle equally subjective.”  - Carl Jung

Jung's quote highlights a widely accepted tenet in my field of work.  That is that therapy often occurs within the intersubjectivity of client and therapist.  When it comes to subjectivity, Lindsey and I often struggle to differentiate between the normal ups and downs that Myla experiences and clinical symptoms.  This occurs primarily because of her history but it also has come about because her healthcare providers often view Myla through the lens of pathology.  This recently came to light with our changing our pediatrician who often only saw Myla through the lens of congenital heart defects, naso-gastric tube feedings, and failure to thrive.  Lindsey often left our "weigh in" appointments feeling beaten up because Myla didn't gain enough weight through the doctor's eyes, and though she never said it, we think she would have been more comfortable if Myla was still a non-eater with a feeding tube. I think Lindsey and I are resigned to the fact that Myla just has insane metabolism.  She eats normal people foods at sometimes bigger than normal people portions. 

She rarely highlighted Myla's strength and resilience as evidenced by her normal development in the face of multiple medical obstacles.  She just saw Myla as failing to ever get past the infinitely present hurdle of substantial weight gain.  Lindsey and I fell into that trap too, but as time has gone by, and we have seen Myla crawl, lift herself up, walk, call her for "momma," "dadda," and "puh puh puh puh (Pearl)."  We have really tried to see Myla for the wonderful, dynamic, hilarious, and yes, small person that she is.  Still though, it is hard to not think about every aberration as a symptom.  A symptom of what, who knows?  Was it that she has been waking up in the night crying? Was it that she wants to be held more?  Was it that she didn't really want dinner for two nights in a row?  Are these symptoms of a larger syndrome that we have missed?  Is she regressing with her feeding?  Perhaps she has reflux again.  We need to take her to her doctor....oh wait...she's getting two teeth in.

Getting teeth is normal.  It hurting is normal. Being fussy is normal.  Waking up crying is normal, and yes, not eating well while teething is normal.  This all leads us to the conclusion that......Myla is normal.  Lindsey and I must repeat that mantra to ourselves daily.  Our new pediatrician does not want to see us weekly for weigh-ins.  Yes, he wants her to gain weight, and so do we (by the way...she is, and has been), but the fact is that he doesn't have the history with Myla that our former pediatrician has.  Though he knows of her history, it is not the lens that he sees her through.